Dr. Hunter S. Thompson Bulletin Board & All-Nite Shooting Range

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hootch—9/2/2010 3:38:51 PM

TO: Dr. Harvester Siverfishmonger

Reminds me of something that James Joyce slipped into his "Ulysses." Can't quote it, but it was something a character read in an American paper from 1907.

One hundred and three years later, placebo pill pushers ('cept the Viagra/Cialis crowd) are still trying to make schlongers longer.

Some things never change ...

Vedrun—8/31/2010 8:42:29 AM

Can someone give me keys to C-Am-F-G please?

We are busy making new work thankyou.

Dr Harvester Siverfishmonger—8/30/2010 7:13:21 AM

Gentlemen!
Increase the girth to your lady-person's pleasure! If you are too old, become young! If you are too young, become older! WORLD'S MOST SUSTAINABLE PRODUCT! Ecologically enhanced to provide excellent sustainability in gentlemen surprised to find new girth. Sustain for as many hours! As advertising campaign jingle explains: "Girth? What is it worth? It is worth more than the Earth!!"

Stanley—8/30/2010 6:55:09 AM

Ah, ok... thought you were talking about the room, while you must be talking about P.J.O'Rourke.

Sleepyhead Beatnik—8/29/2010 12:22:22 PM

Heh heh... yeah, okay--- I was thinking about the Spirit of Gonzo & how it morphs into new forms to survive, not our quaint little cyberspace kaffeeklatsch here.

Stanley—8/29/2010 2:43:36 AM

I dunno, SB... looks about the same shape it was in '96. Same carpets, at least. Same canned music.

Sleepyhead Beatnik—8/29/2010 1:14:49 AM

GONZO never dies, muthafucka.

It just changes shape.

KV—8/28/2010 5:52:23 PM

This muthafucka is still here? Haven't you people learned your lesson?

Manx Needs 'Tang—8/26/2010 7:18:19 AM

So that isn't you reading the translation mentioned by the guy/gal below? *Whew*

Stanley—8/26/2010 6:56:08 AM

Dammit, I can never get the timing right. That should have been:

ONLY WHEN I TYPE IN CAPS.
...I'M ON A COMPUTER.

Stanley—8/26/2010 6:49:34 AM

ONLY WHEN I TYPE IN CAPS.
I'M ON A COMPUTER.

Manx Needs 'Tang—8/25/2010 6:14:04 AM

I always pictured Stanley with a much deeper voice....

J. Oker—8/25/2010 2:02:55 AM

Check out the google translator saying some of the best lines from Stanley's post.

http://translate.google.com/#en|en|They%20suck%2C%20Now%20we%20have%20chaos%2C%20Good.%0D%0A%0D%0AWe%20wait%0D%0A%20%0D%0A

J. Oker—8/25/2010 1:13:24 AM

Sean Penn's New Look---

http://gossip.whyfame.com/files/2010/08/sean_penn_lipstick.jpg

Stanley—8/23/2010 7:58:12 AM

Report from Oz:

The situation here might be horrible, like getting a band-aid ripped off your skin or getting a boil lanced, or actually farting in church because you just have to.

But, like in those cases, it might also bring some relief.

The two major parties here have fucked it up so big-time that it was plain as day something like this would happen. The leaders have become soulless, cardboard cutouts mouthing the spin du jour repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly. (Did you see what I did there just then? heh heh,)

Gillard was clocked saying "Moving Forward" 4,974 times in the first two minutes of her campaign launch speech while her opponent, Tony Abbott was still raving about "Their Big New Tax!" as he had been for the past five months, as his handlers draped the cape over him and shuffled him offstage.

They suck. Now we have chaos. Good. We wait.

There was a fantastic local comedy series made here called 'Hollowmen'. Like 'Yes Minister' in Britain, but it was about the new power, and a fucking enormous power it has become -- the power of the unelected advisors to our elected representatives. Unlike the Public Service department heads in 'Yes Minister', the real power here, now, is in the media advisors to the ministers' private offices. And the ever-present backroom apparatchiks. Who deposed a first-term prime minister and led to this. Well done chaps -- we needed a flensing and now we have it.

Hopefully, all those faceless genius turds will be taken out the back and machine-gunned in their faces till they're dead. And another round to make sure, from me.

The balance of power will be in the hands of a handful of independents, who actually may turn out to be independent and the Greens, who are what Greens are everywhere.

Interesting times.

Chaos. Good. Now, we wait.

Stanley—8/23/2010 7:33:29 AM

Re: Posters for Ginger-haired Politicians

Has my wife been here? Luna... Luna!... LUNA!!!

Wendy Lewis—8/23/2010 5:41:25 AM

That's the only kinda shaggin' I've ever known! But can it wait til I get back, luv? I've gotta get down to Jakarta to see if I can't make some water for Little Barry. Hugs and kisses!

Vet's Friend—8/22/2010 6:04:29 PM

Dear Wendy,

Sure! Ever been grudge-fucked against a brick wall?

Wendy Lewis—8/22/2010 1:51:32 PM

Anybody want a quick go after I pee on that Brights ad over there?

Posters for Ginger-haired Politicians—8/21/2010 6:19:24 AM

We hereby state that if Julia Gillard is not elected, we will be very mad at Ozzies world-wide and will glare at them in a stern manner should we ever meet.

Sam with the Showing Scalp Flattop—8/19/2010 4:17:41 AM

To address your queries, remarks and concerns:

Hey!

Erm, OK.

Not before late September.

I hope this helps.

Sleepyhead Beatnik—8/16/2010 9:16:15 PM

Calling all Grunt People & sufferers of Bongo Fury!

I have a short length of bat chain I need pulled.

Will there be any Tropical Hot Dog Knights in my area soon?

Don Van Vliet—8/16/2010 8:11:27 PM

And a shiny beast to boot.

Fantø—8/16/2010 9:42:46 AM

Stanley, you beast.

Stanley—8/16/2010 7:52:36 AM

I have a document with over 15,000 spammers' personal addresses and bank account details. I will release this document once I have looked through it to make sure no innocent parties are implicated.

Mustafa Jones—8/16/2010 5:56:21 AM

I took it upon my own bad self to deal with 36 spammers this past weekend. It was gratifying, and the knowledge that such "persons" will not have the opportunity to besmirch this fine piece of interwebs Americana brings me much pleasure.

The Staph—8/14/2010 8:29:05 PM

Please note that, due to some punk-ass spammers, I've had to install a CAPTCHA control. While annoying, I'm hoping it will keep the riff-raff away without getting on your nerves too much.

If you don't like it, I suggest offing the next spammer you run across. If each and every one of us would do likewise, the world would be a better place.

That is all.

kathy—8/9/2010 6:32:44 PM

you can't stop here
this is bat(ty) country

Bud Good—8/6/2010 11:41:38 AM

Waitagoshdarnedminnit!

Let's not go off half-cocked.

Stanley—8/6/2010 7:04:01 AM

Staph, hope you find something suitably and apocalyptically Vonnegutish to end this ole beast with a flourish. Lemme know if you need animations or gunpowder.

Fuck You—8/6/2010 5:49:41 AM

I just wanted to reiterate the fact that the fascist PIGS in Maryland should be spat upon, shat upon and ridiculed in every way possible. But only once they have completed suckling scrots.

Fuck You—8/5/2010 7:11:57 PM

Fuck the Maryland pigs. They are scum who seem to enjoy suckling scrotum.

68 cows—8/5/2010 8:53:51 AM

Goodbye. Guess our number's up.

Pedantry Inspector—8/5/2010 8:50:26 AM

Boss?

Dain Bramage—8/2/2010 4:07:53 AM

Lotsa good eatin' goin' to waste---

"In a highly criticized move, officials killed about 200,000 dogs, instead of initially conducting mass vaccinations as recommended by the World Health Organization."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38518384/ns/world_news-asiapacific/

"More than two-thirds (69%) of those destroyed - 1,931 - were healthy but judged too much of a risk to be offered for re-homing because of their temperament or behaviour."

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/uk/thousands-of-unwanted-dogs-put-down-14895511.html?r=RSS

"The drunker I got, the more dogs I wanted to kill."
HST, "Curse of Lono"

Farmer Grunt—8/1/2010 7:22:07 AM

Taters!!!

Pedantry Inspector—8/1/2010 6:45:14 AM

Boss... it's ready.

Drain Bamage—7/31/2010 5:42:13 AM

If two underwears were purchased yet none consumed, why do shoes pinch the scrotum?

Dain Bramage—7/30/2010 5:07:36 PM

How much is that doggy in the window?

I want to kill that dog.

Then eat it.

hootch cueuz—7/28/2010 1:41:21 PM

I got a message from Raftar Schenkar, and he wrote that whatever you decide to do in regards to the immediate future of this Board, please allow occassional users/old-timers some sort of re-direct to go to wherever the new site happens to be. He said most likely it will be http://hell.com/

Stanley—7/28/2010 8:31:42 AM

Staph -- As an Australian and a loyal member of whatever this thing is, I took the liberty of approaching a contact close to Rupert Murdoch with a proposal that Rupert buy this board out, given the shit result MySpace has yielded. The contact close to Rupert Murdoch seemed quite excited, particularly when I mentioned a price, which I was forced into offering (on your behalf). I said two billion would guarantee it, but I reckon a billion would do it if you can stand the haggling.

Hope I wasn't out of line.

Toady—7/27/2010 10:03:25 AM

Night 2 of my band reunion:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7499960/What%20It%20Is%202010%20Reunion_Night%202_Edited.mp3

No vocals, only 41 minutes after being parsed. For your listening agony.

Other news is that I was sneaking out back to have a quick toke the other day and, as I leaned over to huff a big lungful of that wonderful kine-bud, I sparked my lighter, and pulled to no effect. Because I had 'won' the Bic lighter lottery, I had one that had a particularly hearty flame. Resin had unfortunately clogged the stem of the pipe and so you have to imagine me bending over to get out of the wind with a prodigious flame right under my nose and no wind to pull it down into the bowl, owing to the lack of draw on the aforementioned, clogged pipe. So the flame does what all flames do in a gravitational field in the presence of an external atmosphere: it went straight up. Suddenly there was a flash of pain and a really bad smell which was, I soon realized, caused by the fact that I had just lit my facial hair. Needless to say, this was the highlight of my day, and the adrenaline rush I copped from this ludicrous mishap was far better than the KB in the bowl. Ah, good times.

Mustafa Jones—7/26/2010 10:25:17 AM

Sure. Rent is 100bbls per day.

Tony Hayward—7/26/2010 12:24:55 AM

So, I guess I'll be "getting my life back" soon.

What's left of it.

Can I bunk here for a bit?

Pedantry Inspector—7/25/2010 8:55:17 AM

Drat. Previous should read: "Even if inconsistent."

Smoking a Romeo y Julieta while monitoring soap diving telecast. Undisclosed women's prison.

Pedantry Inspector—7/25/2010 8:51:26 AM

If inconsistent.

Pedantry Inspector—7/25/2010 8:50:29 AM

"Geez" and "Jeez" are both acceptable.

Stanley—7/25/2010 8:47:57 AM

Seriously though, can't this be ported over to some social media site like Faecesbook?

Preserve all archives but keep the "discussion" such as it is going?

Or a blog?

Jeez, Staph, this thing is *so* 1996. Get hep!

Stanley—7/25/2010 8:39:54 AM

Geez, I'll do it. How much you paying?

The Staph—7/25/2010 5:30:28 AM

Just checking to see if anyone is interested in taking over this old relic. Your Staph doesn't have much time to devote to it anymore, you see. It's either that or kill the bugger off entirely.

Contact The Staph via the link to the left.